Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Pause


I enjoy the look of a freshly mopped floor, the whistle of the train at night, the crisp fall air. I enjoy coffee and scones in fuel, discovering a new and lovely song, cuddling with Monkey at night when my brain won't let me sleep. I love how soft the fabric is on the inside of a new sweatshirt, hopping into a freshly made bed, the smell of laundry right out of the dryer. I love hot showers on cold days, and cold showers on hot one's. I love discovering new places in a town I have lived in for eleven years, and sharing those places with people I care about. I love the glow of lightning bugs and the distant murmur of cicadas. I love the smell of pinesol, and the feeling of aloe-vera on a sunburn. I love freckled faces, my organized clutter, and a freshly dusted room. I enjoy bandanas, cotton t-shirts, and a good joke. I love to laugh, to sing, to cry. I love riding my bicycle to work. I like reading the last sentence of a book, wrapping myself up in a hammock, and de-cluttering my purse. I love to feel wanted, and I love to want someone. I love the sound of my fan, the excitement of travel, and a good game of banana-grams. I love reading comics in the morning at breakfast, feeding my dog peanut butter, and watching Sex and the City. I love the sound of the wind rushing past my ears when I ride my bike down a hill, and settling down to a movie with a bag of m&ms. I love to appreciate what little I know of art, and the smell of the air just after it rains. I love change, but I love consistency. I enjoy easy summer reads, and the feeling of mud between my toes. I love short socks in the summer, and woolen socks when I'm cold. I love to fall asleep with a book in my lap, try on hats I would never purchase, and I love to wander.

I figured tonight my brain deserved a list of things it loves. My mind has grown tired of the complaints.
A slight break this evening.
The weather is beautiful. Just beautiful.
Pleasant thoughts and dreams.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Grumblegrumblegrumblegrumble.

Screw you, Blogger.com.
For uploading faulty videos.
I should take my business elsewhere, you bastards.
..but I probably won't.
In any case, for the day, damn you.

Stuck In The Middle

Well Well Well. What a find day it is.
Minus the humidity.
And the lack of friends left in this town.
Oh, college. How you are separating us all, forcing us to move on. What a thrill it all is.
But I suppose I am only mostly kidding around.
Perhaps it will all seem easier once I leave. Instead of all of this being left behind hoopla.
Actually is pretty nice out today.
Hm. Hm. Hm.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Because Here They Come

Let's dress up, step beneath the stars, and dance until we drop.
This song makes me want to do just that.
So please go and listen to it, because I don't understand how to post links on this silly thing.


Florence and the Machine
"The Dog Days Are Over"

Happiness hit her like a train on a track
Coming towards her stuck still no turning back
She hid around corners and she hid under beds
She killed it with kisses and from it she fled
With every bubble she sank with her drink
And washed it away down the kitchen sink

The dog days are over
The dog days are done
The horses are coming
So you better run

Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father
Run for your children, for your sisters and brothers
Leave all your love and your longing behind
You cant carry it with you if you want to survive

The dog days are over
The dog days are done
Can you hear the horses?
Because here they come

And I never wanted anything from you
Except everything you had and what was left after that too, oh
Happiness hit her like a bullet in the head
Struck from a great height by someone who should know better than that

"The dog days are over
The dog days are done
Can you hear the horses?
Because here they come

Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father
Run for your children, for your sisters and brothers
Leave all your loving, your loving behind
You cant carry it with you if you want to survive

The dog days are over
The dog days are done
Can you hear the horses?
Because here they come

The dog days are over
The dog days are done
The horses are coming
So you better run"

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Walkin' Around In Our Summertime Clothes

Oh, summer.
You are almost over. And I am unsure of how to react.

Part of me would just love to curl up into the fetal position and hide among the clothes hung up ever so..carelessly..in my closet. Blend right in.
Most of me wants to jump for joy at the thought of something new.

Sometimes I wish I were a colder person. Someone who does not care as much. Dealing with anything within the human spectrum of emotion would be so much easier that way! ..
Unfortunately..I must say with a heavy heart that I find myself caring a bit too much a lot of the time.

We must find the silver linings' in life.

In three and a half weeks, my last book will have filled up, and I'll pick up the empty sequel.
Start again.

Weird.

New Soul by Yael Naim.
She sings it in a far more adorable way than I ever could.





Monday, August 9, 2010

Giving Sleep A Chance


I can't seem to sleep.
Which is a bit of a problem considering I must wake up for work in about five hours. This is no good, really. No good at all. Even worse, I suppose, that I choose to write about it. However, I am living with it. Coping. Dealing. Ah.


Sometimes though, I am no good at coping when I cannot sleep. And I am sure that we have all had this problem before. I just must be special in some way. Born to worry in the hours of the night.

My poor little brain buzzes through every thought faster than I thought thoughts could manage. From baking scones, to hoping my bike doesn't get rained on, my brain just won't pause to picture nothing and just go. to. bed.

An example of my thought patterns:
"Hm. I have to open in the morning. God that's early, I hope I don't sleep through my alarm. What if it storms and the power goes out though? Then what? I like storms though. They help me fall asleep. Sleep. God, I wish I were sleeping right now. C'mon Grace. sleep. sleep. sleep..you can do it....Dammit! Did I brush my teeth?! Wait, yeah I did, right before I showered. Oh shit, I'm running low on shampoo, must buy more soon. Buy. Oh god. Do I have everything I need for school? I should go over that list again..Oh I'm nervous for school. So excited though..I'll miss my friends..and I leave so late. I'll be all on my own for a couple of weeks here after everyone has left. Just working I suppose. Oh Christ! work! I have to work in the morning in five hours! Oh shit...c'mon Grace. go. to. sleep!"

And it just continues until at some point, my body wins the battle and nods off. Which I'm sure I will shortly after I write this.
Really though, it is amazing, the places my mind will take me when I cannot seem to fall asleep. Start worrying about things that I would never normally worry about during the day. It's certainly odd.
And yes. A little frustrating as well.

My hope is that it does not rain tonight, because I don't want to ride my bike to work in the rain tomorrow morning. It just does not sound entirely pleasant. See? Here I go again.
My endless little circle.

A friend of mine once suggested to picture white. All white. and block out every other thought with the color white whenever they start to creep in.
It actually works pretty well. More than counting backwards from 1,000 or picturing sheep jumping fences.

Perhaps I will give it a try. White. Mmm.

Time to give sleep a chance. May my thoughts rest in peace.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

She&Him

When I should be sleeping..

minus the bridge.